Monday, September 7, 2009

The most miserable part of my life so far...

Im currently in sem4, and had sat for the End Of Semester 4 Final exam on the 10th-13th of August. I can still remember clearly, the questions that i had attempted for the 1st day of Final for the Pharmacy Practice 1 (PP1) subject. After the final, i thought i should had pass all 3 exam paper eventhough i did my calculation wrongly for the 1st compulsory question of PP1. I calculated and estimated my marks for PP1 and i shud be able to pass it as i am confident in the another 2 questions. Who noes...

The day had came,which was the results releasing day on the 2nd of September, when i took over the result slip,it's thick,which mean,i've failed any of the 3 subjects,and it's PP1. At that time, duno y,im juz shocked for a while and my mood had return to its normal level. I gt 46,short of 4 to pass. Maybe because deep inside myself, i think that i had already pass the subject as i juz did a very silly mistake in the calculation and i duno y my stupid and fucking mind while doing tat question will allow my hand to write out the stupid mistake and i realised that only after the exam,it's too late. There was a moment im wondering and struggling while doing tat question and just like usual,when there is A and B,i'll always choose the wrong or the more difficult 1,without myself knowing it,so if u let me 'tembak' objectives questions,sorry,i will surely fail it.

I duno why,even if i get 3 out of 20 for the 1st questions,i should had gt enough marks to pass from the another 2 questions,but why???And in the another day which is 3rd of September, there was a remedying poor performance workshop for those who failed their PP1. Mrs July and Dr.David Chong were the lecturers for us there.They discussed with us bout those questions in the EOS and i was shocked to know tat the answers they gave us were what i wrote for my EOS questions.Ofcourse,not totally the same but y my marks still so low for EOS then?Mayb my answers were incomplete.What to do,wat i have to do was prepare well for the resit...This time,i din really feel any pressure juz abit scared as this is the most decisive paper for me,stay or leave... From the 1st day i decided to enrol in this course,honestly i had never expected myself to be in this situation, i had never expected myself to resit any exams...Im totally dissappointed...

This morning,i had resit for the PP1 exam. I did wrong for 1 essay,and in worst condition,i may get zero for this particular essay. Hopefully there will be few marks,pray hard...In this case, i had only 40 marks in hand and i must get at least 30 marks over 60 to pass.Ya,for that 2 questions,im confident in it as well,but,likewise for the EOS paper,which i did wrongly for the calculation and im confident in another 2 questions,but wat came out?it's not what u can expect...40 marks in hand for me is really very risky...im like standing on the cliff,will drop down anytime...it's so unsafe....Haiz...im damn worry and damn stress right now....anyway,i've made the worst assumption now...which is,i will be dropped out form the course and will not fly to uk with those MQs....this kinda unsecure feeling,i've lost it for very long time and ofcoz the crying feel,i cried infront of my mum,i feel so sorry to them...why,why i choose to do the 2nd question but not the HBM question?even if i duno how to elaborate atleast i will still gain marks for those concepts of HBM that i've memorized....ntg i can do now but to wait for friday,it happened and there's no way back d....and these waiting days are really scary,even more scary than those waiting days i went thru in previous sems for EOS results,this time,it's resit results....

If i really pass the resit,i wont let this kinda thing happen again...no more failures,no more resit....no more mistakes,never!!!! If failed,goodbye to all p108s....u guys have made my life interesting and im really happy and glad to noe u guys and have u guys as my frens...especially to cheryl,fiona,wendy,khern,whelan,shiennee,stephanie,engseng,genyuan and many more...wil miss u guys lots....and wat reminds me bout cheryl now is her wishes and gifts for me during my birthday,it's really touching and im appreciate it alot...thx....good luck every1....

waiting for 4 more days.....haizzzzzzzzzz.......